Friday, January 28, 2011

a little rant

We have been sooooo quiet! I know, I know...don't rock the boat or jinx anything, but it is getting ridiculous. My fingers are getting a serious itch. I have drained and filled, due to lack of use, too many birth pools. All of this 'free time' has lead my mind to wander.....

Recently, I had an orientation (kinda like an open house for the center) with a lot of great attendees. It was a good crowd, with lots of good questions and interaction. At the end of these sessions, I always stick around for people to speak with me privately if need be. A very nice couple approached me and as she started to tell me her story/ask her question, she started to cry. She is early in her prgnancy and has had some spotting. The "care" she has been receiving from her care provider (an OB doc who she has been seeing her whole adult life) sounds less than stellar. Don't get me wrong, it sounds like all the clinical bases have been covered...but the emotional ones have been abandoned. My initial instinct was to reach out and touch her, give a hug, a tissue and some comfort....which I did, even though I didn't really know her. Then we all talked through her experience, I answered questions as best I could, and held her hand. We spent all of 5 minutes together and at the end she said that I "had given her more care and compassion" than her doctor ever had! Me, who is basically a complete stranger!

This is so disheartening. How can we empower women to demand and get the care they deserve? This story is so common in our culture....we need to encourage and foster change. Don't get me wrong, I am not bashing doctors...there are fantastic, kind doctors out there; just like there are not so great midwives out there. It's just that, all too often, as "patients" women will accept horrible care as "normal". Aarrgghh!

Whew, I have to pull out of the negative, or I could go on and on down that road! Clearly, I need to catch some sweet, squishy babies and get back in the positive zone. Hopefully tonight!!


  1. You have such a good point here. I am someone who has (a long story) had 3 miscarriages in the last 2 1/2 years. There is a great book about loss and fertility called "Coming to Term". In this book, the author makes a strong case, based on research, that TLC is the only proven treatment for repeat miscarriages. You did a beautiful thing, loving on a hurting, scared woman. It is a very hard thing to face another pregnancy without the love and support we need, and so many doctors (and unfortunately even midwives) don't see this! Keep up the good work!

  2. hatmamma, thank you for your input and welcome to the blog! Helping women to work through miscarriages is deffinitely one of the toughest parts of this calling. I agree that one of the best gifts we can give during these times is TLC, there is no magic answer or "right" thing to say. We simply need to be there and offer compassion.