Sunday, May 16, 2010

bittersweet

Just a flutter, soft and warm
A glimmer in your father's eyes
A squishy print in your mother's soul
Deep, deep down in the dark, cool place...restful and serene
Present for only a flash and yet so bright that the mark will forever burn

Thinking of my little lost one today. How such a tiny sprout can be so profoundly missed is one mystery of life. Or as a woman...perhaps not a mystery at all. When I lost my babe, she (I have always thought of her as a girl-though will never know for sure) almost took me with her, literally. I felt her tugging at my heartstrings and as I was bleeding and bleeding and being taken to the operating room part of me wanted to go with her....to stay with my little one and keep her close. Letting her go was torturous, but in the end, I am always grateful that I was able to remain.

Since I have started on this path, I have had to help other women through similar experiences and it never gets easy. How can we soothe, how can we support and aid one another to the other side of the grief? It is a process that I will continually learn. When all is said and done...what I needed was a hand, a shoulder and to know that someone was there...this is what I strive to give all the Mama's that I have been with and that I will be with as they cross this bridge....

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