Many times, I will hear women say that they hope for a very fast labor. This is deffinitely a situation where I will say "be careful what you ask for", just because it goes fast does not mean it goes easy. An example.....
Got a call from a second time Mama, Brenda. She sounds pretty hot and heavy over the phone, so I recommend that she hurry on in. About 20 minutes later, I am in the center, anxiously waiting for her. I think I hear sirens in the distance and think "Oh my gosh, she has had her babe in the car, down the street and here comes the ambulance!" I go outside to see if I can see anything.......low and behold....the siren I thought I heard was actually Brenda! She is in her car, in the parking lot and seriously cranking out contractions! With much ado and convincing, we (myself and her doula) coax her into the center. Her labor is loud and vocal, she is very confused about it being so fast. She has a lot of moving, using the swing, pacing and in and out of the birth pool....in essence she is trying to run away from her labor. Many, many times she states that she in not ready, that it can't be happening so fast, etc.... and all this very loudly! With much support and eye contact we are able to talk her through it and very quickly she is in the pool and crowning. THEN, as I am doing some perineal support, she takes my hand in hers and attempts to push the baby back up!! Saying, "it is just not time yet!" Of course, she was not able to stall very much and soon we had a happy 8# 40z boy to welcome to the world. Start to finish, her labor was less than 4 hours. After the birth, Brenda had a very difficult time accepting that her new little one had arrived and spent an hour processing before she could really enjoy him.
So, if a lady asks and hopes for a fast labor...remind her that through the process, we all have to pass certain mile markers and we can either pass them at regular pace or at 200mph...which can be very overwhelming and leaves little time to absorb the trip....
I have experienced this myself with my first (only so far) labor- I was laboring at home without much pain until transition hit and I started to feel the urge to push (after about 3.5 hours of mild contractions)- and I kept telling my husband that "it's not supposed to happen this fast!" We barely made it to the hospital before she was born. It felt like a dream, especially since labor started at 12:00 am and she was born before 5:00 am. Months and months preparing, and then it was over. It was really hard to process that, and I almost felt right then like I needed to have another baby so that I could experience it again and not "miss" it! I think it was especially hard because I was in a hospital with an OB, not a midwife, and they pretty much just left me in the room, took my baby away because she was "too cold", and everyone left! So there I am, by myself, and crying baby in the warmer. My husband was just as shocked as I was, because he had only been up for about and hour before she was born; he was busy calling my family. I have told other moms my daughter's birth story because I think that it can be difficult to transition from being pregnant to having a newborn in such a short period of time. A few more hours would actually have been nice, as weird as that sounds.
ReplyDeleteSara, I posted this story for Mom's just like yourself. When these babes come so fast, it is extremely diffucult to make the mental transition from pregnant to mother. These situations require a lot of emotional support form your birth team, for both Mom and Dad. I think that the babes are often a little shocked as well and need extra TLC. I am sorry to hear about your hospital experience and sense of being left alone....maybe with your next you can be at home or in a birth center with midwives ;)Thank you for sharing your story.
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