I was recently lucky enough to attend the MANA/CAM Conference in Niagara Falls, Ontario. It was my first MANA conference and it was a lot of fun! It is an amazing experience to be surrounded by people that you share a passion with. To meet others walking on the same path. I was very proud to count myself in the company of so many great midwives, doulas and birth workers!
A heard a quote that was very powerful for me,
"All midwives need each other, and the women need all the midwives." -Judi Mentzer
This struck a particular chord with me. On paper and by training, I am a Certified Nurse Midwife or a CNM. In my heart, I am a Midwife, just simply a midwife. I do not feel that I am any better or worse of a midwife based on the initials placed after my name. Other midwives may have different initials, like CPM, RM, DEM, LM or any other number of options. To me, these are all midwives. One of my biggest frustrations in this profession is the "in-fighting" and the tearing down of eah other based on the initials we carry. How can we as birth workers expect to grow our numbers and support more women when we spend too much energy bickering amongst ourselves? Who needs the "establishment" to hold us down, when do such a good job of it on our own? Let's face it....women come in all stripes and persuasions....and they all deserve and need midwives...so midwives should also come in all stripes and persuasions!
I don't want to get too high on my soap box, but I do want to make my point. We have so many struggles facing our profession, let's just get out of our way, try to move forward from the divisions of the past and focus on the incredibly important task at hand....supporting, educating and empowering women!!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
How Do You Know I'm in Labor?
She is a great lady, with an awesome sense of humor. Her husband called me, she had told him not to, that it was not labor. He looked at her, curled up on the bathroom floor breathing through contractions, and made the phone call. I said that they should probably head on in...it was their third baby after all. Twenty minutes later, she walked through the door, clearly in labor and clearly well into her labor. She continued to be convinced that this was not, could not be labor and apologized for me having to come in. I just helped her walk back to the room, starting taking her vital signs and listening to her babe. Since she was positive for GBS, the nurse worked on starting an IV. She really did not like the needles, and in between contractions she argued..."are you sure it is time for that?"...."how do we know I am in labor"...."what if I don't need that IV yet?" Her husband, myself, the nurse and her doula all tried to reassure her that she was, in fact, in labor. Again, she argued, "but how do you know?" Finally, I said, "because we all have eyes!"
So, once the IV was started and she was a little more settled, I checked her cervix and low and behold!...she was definitely in labor and was actually in transition. We helped her into the birth pool and she finally began to accept that her labor was real. Less than one hour after arriving, she birthed her beautiful baby to the world.
Afterwards, we all talked about her reluctance to believe her labor. First, it had been very fast, less than four hours from start to finish. As I have discussed before, fast labors can be very difficult for women to process. Additionally, this Mama had her previous two babes in a hospital, where she was "ignored" until her cervical exam confirmed that she was "ready" and had been told not to push until a doctor arrived. So, her thoughts and feelings started to make some sense. Her husband told us that when he was getting her out of the of the house to come in, she was reluctant. He said to her, "remember that we aren't afraid to go to this place?" and she finally agreed to leave. While this may make me feel good about the care that my group gives and the style of our services...that our families trust us, it also makes me sad that women have these histories to overcome. I am by no means a "hospital hater", I am grateful to have the services available at a hospital when a woman and her baby need them. However, there must be, and in reality there IS a better way to care for pregnant women. A way that honors, empowers and uplifts while still guarding physical safety. They are not and need not be mutually exclusive!
So, once the IV was started and she was a little more settled, I checked her cervix and low and behold!...she was definitely in labor and was actually in transition. We helped her into the birth pool and she finally began to accept that her labor was real. Less than one hour after arriving, she birthed her beautiful baby to the world.
Afterwards, we all talked about her reluctance to believe her labor. First, it had been very fast, less than four hours from start to finish. As I have discussed before, fast labors can be very difficult for women to process. Additionally, this Mama had her previous two babes in a hospital, where she was "ignored" until her cervical exam confirmed that she was "ready" and had been told not to push until a doctor arrived. So, her thoughts and feelings started to make some sense. Her husband told us that when he was getting her out of the of the house to come in, she was reluctant. He said to her, "remember that we aren't afraid to go to this place?" and she finally agreed to leave. While this may make me feel good about the care that my group gives and the style of our services...that our families trust us, it also makes me sad that women have these histories to overcome. I am by no means a "hospital hater", I am grateful to have the services available at a hospital when a woman and her baby need them. However, there must be, and in reality there IS a better way to care for pregnant women. A way that honors, empowers and uplifts while still guarding physical safety. They are not and need not be mutually exclusive!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Guided Hands
I am by no means a superiorily experienced midwife, and as many of you know, still consider myself a "young-un". That being said, I do feel that I have built a strong foundation on which to grow my skills. I have been blessed with fantastic teachers and mentors, wonderful families to support and an amazing family of my own. I have recently had some experiences that truly reinforce, for myself, that this is my calling. I believe, that when a person finds their calling, and that when they are serving a higher purpose, there is a well of unconscious knowledge to tap into...
At a recent birth, I was literally at the end of my rope...I had done and tried everything to help this motherbaby. At that moment, of surrender, my hands just started doing. An obscure maneuver, from deep in a text book, that I had never done and only seen once years ago. My hands simply took over and did it....and wonderfully it worked! It was just the trick to help this sweet babe out. I didn't even fully realize what had happened until it was over. I believe that my hands were guided.
At another recent birth, after a beautiful labor and with a healthy, happy baby skin to skin...Mama truly started hemorrhaging...a lot, a dangerous lot. Her placenta had not yet been birthed and before I was able to consciously think, my hands just started to do, to enter her uterus and remove the placenta. This was of course, difficult and very painful for the Mama, however, it saved her life. I had never done this procedure before, only studied it and observed it, but in that moment, my hands knew exactly what to do. Again, I believe my hands were guided.
Of course, there is the acknowledgement that I have trained and studied for these situations, which I have done with dedication. Of course, there is the necessary ability to think quickly and remain calm. However, above all that, there are moments when I honestly believe and have felt something more than myself in the room. I am by no means special in this way and feel that this "well of knowledge" is present for all to dip into. I have seen many others experience this sensation. When have you felt/seen/experienced this? Do you even agree with me that it occurs? I would love to discuss this....
At a recent birth, I was literally at the end of my rope...I had done and tried everything to help this motherbaby. At that moment, of surrender, my hands just started doing. An obscure maneuver, from deep in a text book, that I had never done and only seen once years ago. My hands simply took over and did it....and wonderfully it worked! It was just the trick to help this sweet babe out. I didn't even fully realize what had happened until it was over. I believe that my hands were guided.
At another recent birth, after a beautiful labor and with a healthy, happy baby skin to skin...Mama truly started hemorrhaging...a lot, a dangerous lot. Her placenta had not yet been birthed and before I was able to consciously think, my hands just started to do, to enter her uterus and remove the placenta. This was of course, difficult and very painful for the Mama, however, it saved her life. I had never done this procedure before, only studied it and observed it, but in that moment, my hands knew exactly what to do. Again, I believe my hands were guided.
Of course, there is the acknowledgement that I have trained and studied for these situations, which I have done with dedication. Of course, there is the necessary ability to think quickly and remain calm. However, above all that, there are moments when I honestly believe and have felt something more than myself in the room. I am by no means special in this way and feel that this "well of knowledge" is present for all to dip into. I have seen many others experience this sensation. When have you felt/seen/experienced this? Do you even agree with me that it occurs? I would love to discuss this....
Friday, September 16, 2011
The Language of Labor
So, most of us are probably familiar with the term "the language of love". I firmly believe that there is also a "language of labor", a universal language that is shared by women during birth. I have had this belief for a long time, but recently had a birth that reinforced the feeling.
Marta was having her first child. She recently moved to the United States from Central America. When she first arrived, Marta spoke very little English. During her pregnancy, she was extremely proactive in learning English and from one prenatal visit to the next, her English skills flourished. Additionally, she had a great support system that included a couple good interpreters. When I got a phone call from Marta's family that she was in labor, I was so happy...I had really wanted to be her midwife. I speak some limited Spanish and am by no means fluent, but love the language and the culture. Marta arrived to the birth center, surrounded by rain, fog and her family. It was as if she was enveloped in a mist of soft, moist light. I only had to take one look at her to know that she was not far from birthing her little one. She had that aura, a vibration pulsating off her body. And, not surprisingly, remembered hardly any English. Yes, she had her family to help interpret, but honestly, we did not need them too much. We; Marta, myself, the nurse and my student, were able to speak the language of labor. The discourse that occurs through touch and look. She needed hands to hold, eyes to look into, and the comfort of closeness. Then there was the sound of crowning, that primal sound, the one that comes from our ancestral voice....that sound is universal and needs no translation. It is a sound that anyone in the room will feel in their bones. And then, the squishy, pink baby followed by the sounds of a Mother greeting her child for the first time. Marta had a gorgeous, chubby baby girl.
Many times, I feel that we do too much talking in labor...too much stimulating of the frontal lobe and pulling women out of their instinctual selves. Don't get me wrong, it is vital to be able to communicate. I am just proposing that we should be thoughtful in our use of verbal language around birth. That we should use language with a sincere purpose and weigh each word before speaking it. What are your thoughts and/or experiences with this?
Marta was having her first child. She recently moved to the United States from Central America. When she first arrived, Marta spoke very little English. During her pregnancy, she was extremely proactive in learning English and from one prenatal visit to the next, her English skills flourished. Additionally, she had a great support system that included a couple good interpreters. When I got a phone call from Marta's family that she was in labor, I was so happy...I had really wanted to be her midwife. I speak some limited Spanish and am by no means fluent, but love the language and the culture. Marta arrived to the birth center, surrounded by rain, fog and her family. It was as if she was enveloped in a mist of soft, moist light. I only had to take one look at her to know that she was not far from birthing her little one. She had that aura, a vibration pulsating off her body. And, not surprisingly, remembered hardly any English. Yes, she had her family to help interpret, but honestly, we did not need them too much. We; Marta, myself, the nurse and my student, were able to speak the language of labor. The discourse that occurs through touch and look. She needed hands to hold, eyes to look into, and the comfort of closeness. Then there was the sound of crowning, that primal sound, the one that comes from our ancestral voice....that sound is universal and needs no translation. It is a sound that anyone in the room will feel in their bones. And then, the squishy, pink baby followed by the sounds of a Mother greeting her child for the first time. Marta had a gorgeous, chubby baby girl.
Many times, I feel that we do too much talking in labor...too much stimulating of the frontal lobe and pulling women out of their instinctual selves. Don't get me wrong, it is vital to be able to communicate. I am just proposing that we should be thoughtful in our use of verbal language around birth. That we should use language with a sincere purpose and weigh each word before speaking it. What are your thoughts and/or experiences with this?
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Frustrated!!!
Well, this weekend was full of so much information, both good and bad! I was able to attend a conference....The American Association of Birth Centers 5th annual. Overall it was great, so wonderful to be surrounded by people who are also involved in the crazy wonderfullness that is a birth center! To know that we are not alone and that others are out there joined in the movement is fantastic and a great way to get the ole battery re-charged. There were great presentations on Anthropological Breastfeeding (so amazing!), new guidelines for STI's (good to be kept up to date), PROM and techniques for OP and labor dystocia. All in all wonderful information.
What was disturbing...the new data on Maternal and Infant Mortality!!! We as a country spend more money on health care and have some of the worst outcomes, and to make it worse, we keep getting worse not better!! We are slipping further and further down on the list every year, currently we are 41st for infant outcomes and 50th for maternal outcomes!! This is shameful and shocking. Additionally, if you are African American the outcomes are 4x worse! Here is a link to a recent report from Amnesty International
http://www.amnestyusa.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/deadlydelivery.pdf
Before reading it, be prepared to be frustrated and saddened, and then hopefully moved to action. I will soon be moving that way....after the initial shock wears off. For now, I really needed to vent!
What was disturbing...the new data on Maternal and Infant Mortality!!! We as a country spend more money on health care and have some of the worst outcomes, and to make it worse, we keep getting worse not better!! We are slipping further and further down on the list every year, currently we are 41st for infant outcomes and 50th for maternal outcomes!! This is shameful and shocking. Additionally, if you are African American the outcomes are 4x worse! Here is a link to a recent report from Amnesty International
http://www.amnestyusa.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/deadlydelivery.pdf
Before reading it, be prepared to be frustrated and saddened, and then hopefully moved to action. I will soon be moving that way....after the initial shock wears off. For now, I really needed to vent!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The Hose Wrangler
Now, I know that some of you may be thinking/wondering what type of hose I refer to. Well, let me just clarify that I mean hose in the literal, water your garden sense of the word. Working at a birth center has many, many benefits...I get to offer the type of midwifery care that I am passionate about, I get to build relationships with our families, my midwife sisters are fantastic and our whole staff is like a second family to me. However, like life and labor, it is not all a bed of roses. There is a lot of hands on, intensive cleaning work to be done....scrubbing floors and walls and birth stools, doing laundry, folding laundry, cleaning instruments and of course, hose wrangling.
I love water birth. The amazing look of relief that seeps into a woman's face as she sinks down into the warm water. The calm, alert babies opening up to their new world. I do not, however, enjoy the draining and filling of birth pools, particularly when it comes to the management of the hoses. They are heavy, cumbersome and always kinked or kinking. (Inevitably, this task is taking place at 3 am which does not help.) Recently, while knee deep in this process, I somehow, very gracefully I'm sure, managed to get all caught up in the hose and trip flat on my face. Luckily, no one was present to witness my injury, I guess now the secret is out.
I must admit that when the birth bug first bit me, I was caught up in the romance of it all. Now, some years down the line, I am still a devout "birth junkie" but the romance has worn off and evolved, much like a new relationship, into a deeper understanding and respect for all that being "with woman" entails.
I love water birth. The amazing look of relief that seeps into a woman's face as she sinks down into the warm water. The calm, alert babies opening up to their new world. I do not, however, enjoy the draining and filling of birth pools, particularly when it comes to the management of the hoses. They are heavy, cumbersome and always kinked or kinking. (Inevitably, this task is taking place at 3 am which does not help.) Recently, while knee deep in this process, I somehow, very gracefully I'm sure, managed to get all caught up in the hose and trip flat on my face. Luckily, no one was present to witness my injury, I guess now the secret is out.
I must admit that when the birth bug first bit me, I was caught up in the romance of it all. Now, some years down the line, I am still a devout "birth junkie" but the romance has worn off and evolved, much like a new relationship, into a deeper understanding and respect for all that being "with woman" entails.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Vacation
It should come as no surprise that this profession is hard...sometimes very hard. It can be exhausting both emotionally and physically. I am basically a baby midwife, and am comfortable saying that. One of my continual lessons, is how to maintain this path while still maintaining my personal health and the well being of my family. Balance is always an issue. If you have read this blog, you will know that it is a topic I often write about....it seems to be one of my "things". So, last week I had vacation. Unfortunately, it was not an exciting one, more like a stay-cation and let's get the kids ready to start school. But, I was away from the birth center for the week....and I actually stayed away...which was pretty hard for me! It was good to be away and spend good time with my family and I am now glad to be back with the Mama's...
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